“I’ll have what she’s having…”—we all know that infamous quote from When Harry Met Sally.
We are all surrounded by images of beautiful women—in films, on TV, in magazines, and on social media. The constant message transmitted by these images of idealized female bodies is that if you don’t resemble, mimic, or strive for that standard, there is something wrong with you.
We are made to feel inadequate and less than, even though these images often promote photoshopped or otherwise digitally manipulated ideals that are unattainable in real life.
Take inventory of how you feel when you scroll through your feed of scantily-clad #instamodels. You might run up against Teddy Roosevelt’s hard truth: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
And look, I get it. There are days when I want “what she’s having”; where I compare, not just my body image, but my current life, business, relationships to what others have.
I remember when I first began my entrepreneurial journey; my coach at the time told me that other women she was mentoring were celebrating 5- and even 6-figure months.
Other women were living the laptop lifestyle, location independent.
Other women weren’t turning down networking events, saying, “I’d love to, but it doesn’t fit my macros,” fearful of coming face-to-face with their food cravings in a social environment.
Other women were writing books, speaking on stage, filling the seats of their live masterminds and retreats.
Other women weren’t riddled with conditioned fears and insecurities—the ruins of a bygone era.
They were creating a ripple effect with their impact.
I wanted that.
So many of us are playing at that dangerous intersection between comparison and inspiration; it’s one that’s fraught with potholes, to be sure.
The voice of inspiration encourages you to hold your sword in the ready position at all times;
The voice of comparison shouts that the blade is too sharp.
The voice of inspiration is the wind beneath your wings;
The voice of comparison mildly clips one wing and impairs your ability to soar high.
The voice of inspiration bends the parameters of your potential;
The voice of comparison muzzles it and suffocates your spirit.
Perhaps, most importantly, the voice of inspiration offers you a seat at the table;
The voice of comparison tells you you’re already fucking late.
It’s not necessarily the admiration of other people’s somethings that is the problem—it is the coveting. So whether you’re trying to lead a healthier lifestyle or launch (or scale!) your business, it is imperative to embody your inherent self-worth.
Your body is the material assertion that you have the right to occupy space in this world, that your motion in it matters.
It’s the concept of home—not a house, a thing to be remodeled at whim, bought and sold—but a treasured home comprised of childhood memories. It’s something you will lovingly tend to and care for over the years, on your terms, and in a way that makes you feel alive.
Similarly, no one is going to buy into you, your product, or your brand if you don’t believe—with every fiber of your being—that you have value to share.
All you have is you—a message to deliver to the masses based on all of your very unique experiences, expertise, and insight. How will you use that voice so that people listen?
Let’s stop trying to have “what she’s having,” and instead, blaze our own trails with the courage of our convictions. Adapt methods utilized by those who inspire you—where their utility fits your circumstances—without using their results as a benchmark for success.
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